Every Mother’s Day, there’s a lot of conversation about the women who raised us. But if we’re being honest, some of our most formative lessons about womanhood also came from television, movies, and pop culture.

Whether we realized it or not, many of us spent years watching these women on our screens and quietly picking things up from them along the way...how to navigate friendships, heartbreak, ambition, beauty, motherhood, independence, dinner parties, etc.

Basically, how to thrive within the version of womanhood they each embodied.

And somewhere between all the drama, memorable one-liners, and impossibly aesthetic lives, some of those lessons actually stuck. Below are just a few of my favorites.

  • Lorelai Gilmore (Gilmore Girls)
    • What we took from her: Life should feel cozy yet a little chaotic—but in a charming way—and your morning coffee stop sets the tone for the rest of your day. Gilmore Girls turned mornings into something almost romantic. For Lorelai, this meant lingering conversations, multiple cups of coffee, a full breakfast at Luke’s, and somehow time to actually talk to people. And even though most of the time we were thinking…when in the hell will Rory make it to school and Lorelai get to work (because that morning routine looks two hours long)…the point wasn’t the logistics. It was that mornings weren’t rushed through, they were lived in.
    • How it translates now: Romanticizing your daily rituals instead of optimizing them. A Lorelai-coded morning routine isn’t about efficiency, it’s about loyalty—being devoted to your coffee spot. Even if it’s your nearest Starbucks or Coffee Bean, you know at least one barista by name and in return they know your milk preference without asking. It’s also about giving yourself permission to linger a little longer than you “should" because you’ve decided mornings aren’t something to rush through anymore. A real breakfast, actual pancakes, sitting down for ten minutes instead of standing at the counter...it’s small, but it shifts the whole tone of your day. As a no-fuss, pot-of-coffee purist, I have a feeling Lorelai would’ve claimed Russell's, Clark Street Diner (or Max & Helen's right as they open their doors before the crowd rolls in) as her LA outpost, holding court at the counter and refilling her coffee without asking.
  • Kris Jenner (The Kardashians)
    • What we took from her: If you’ve watched any Kardashian show, you’ve heard Kris say on repeat that her favorite thing aside from a vodka martini is making "the most delicious memories with her family." And after twenty years of hearing it, it actually lands. Because love them or not, there’s something to be said for the way she brings everyone together as the matriarch of one of the most famous families in the world. Even on her podcast, Khloé in Wonder Land, Khloé reminisces a lot about how her mom created the most magical memories on otherwise typical days simply by knowing how to host (long before they had LA event legend Mindy Weiss on speed dial).
    • How it translates now: Treating your space like it’s always five minutes away from hosting. This means having a few go-to details dialed in: a signature (and simple!) drink you can make without thinking or needing a ton of ingredients from the store, glassware you actually like using and a home that feels put together enough on a random Tuesday night. Host smarter, not harder by just focusing on a few things that matter like lighting, a go-to Spotify playlist, a clean table and LA's finest takeout and gourmet snacks. Anything from the grab-and-go section at your local Erewhon is a saving grace, or pop into top neighborhood gems Gjusta Grocers, Cookbook Market, Canyon Grocer by Kurt and Whey and Agnes Cheesery. Plus, recent group takeout orders I'd recommend: La Scala, Checker Hall, Anajak Thai and Hamasaku.  
  • Mrs. George (Mean Girls)
    • What we took from her: Beneath the Juicy tracksuits, Mrs. George is actually her daughter’s biggest cheerleader. She’s involved, paying attention, and just wants to be in the room—and there’s something to be said for that level of enthusiasm. Sure, it sometimes borders on a little too much (her fully mirroring the Jingle Bell Rock choreography from behind the camcorder is objectively one of the most legendary moments of our cinematic lives). But she roots for her girls loudly, consistently, and without hesitation.
    • How it translates now: Not holding back when it comes to supporting your favorite people. Being the Friend that isn't too cool to hype everyone up—celebrating their wins, taking a million photos of them at Merois until they like the angle, backing them in the room and behind their backs, and cheering the loudest when they book a stage at The Hotel Cafe or try stand-up at The Glendale Room. It’s texting the encouragement, saying the compliment out loud, and being someone your Friends feel supported by. There’s something really special and important about being each other's biggest fans.
  • Miranda Hobbes (Sex and the City)
    • What we took from her: You can be deeply ambitious, highly opinionated, and still figure out how to show up for the life you didn’t plan. Miranda was never trying to be the “perfect” version of anything. She was brutally honest (borderline cynical at times) but unapologetically herself through every season. Her honesty guides her through life's messy and surprising milestones on her own terms: opting out of the traditional baby shower, not romanticizing a big wedding, and navigating motherhood while making partner. We see her wrestle with expectations, challenge them, and then quietly build a version of adulthood that works for her.
    • How it translates now: Letting your life evolve without forcing it to fit a narrative you outgrew. Be just as honest as Miranda about everything...who you are, what you want, and what isn’t working. Then have the confidence to adjust accordingly, and the flexibility to roll with life's curveballs. It’s not clinging to the plan just because it was the plan, and not pretending something fits when it doesn’t. And sometimes the most honest thing you can do is admit you’re still figuring it out and keep going anyway.
  • Lily van der Woodsen (Gossip Girl)
    • What we took from her: No matter how dramatic life got on the Upper East Side, Lily van der Woodsen never stopped presenting herself with a sense of composure. Her version of self-care was intentionally built into her lifestyle. The perfectly tailored coat...standing salon appointments...constant fresh flowers...the quiet luxury of taking care of herself even when everything around her felt messy. And while there’s an undeniable level of wealth attached to her world, the deeper takeaway is that there’s value in treating yourself like someone worth caring for. Looking put together wasn’t about vanity, it was about self-respect.
    • How it translates now: Making “me time” part of your routine consistently and unapologetically, instead of something you earn after burnout. Book the facial you've been promising yourself for years at Face Place (and a massage at Tomoko before you desperately need it). Focus on building a capsule wardrobe by investing in pieces that will last (and don't underestimate the power of good tailoring, go see my girl Michele Curcho). No more cheating yourself out of a consistent pedicure routine. Keep recurring hair appointments on the calendar with the same commitment you'd give work meetings. Treat yourself to a good blowout at Studio 1 Blowouts or Blown Away LA whenever you want. Romanticize your post-workout routine with time in the sauna, dry-brushing, and drenching yourself in any Cyklar Body Balm or Jenni Kayne Moisture Rich Body Balm. And remember that presenting your best self to the world starts with taking good care of yourself behind the scenes.
  • Kyle Richards (The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills)
    • What we took from her: Being a girls’ girl isn’t just about showing up when it’s fun. As the longest-running Housewife across the entire franchise, Kyle hasn’t been immune to the drama—she’s just built a reputation for facing it authentically and head-on. There’s a reason she’s consistently called the most “real” or “down-to-earth” Housewife: she has the conversations, listens to understand, and still finds her way back to forgiving, laughing, and moving forward with the people she cares about. We’ve watched her fight for relationships on every front over the last sixteen years (including with sisters Kathy and Kim) and proudly share decades-long relationships on the show outside of the cast (hi, Faye Resnick). She values history, feels things deeply, and doesn’t walk away forever.
    • How it translates now: Treating your friendships with consistency, not convenience. Long-term girlfriends, shared memories, complicated dynamics—they’re priceless, and worth the effort it takes to keep them. It’s not about being perfect, it’s about being present: checking in, making the plan, reaching out when something feels off, staying engaged even when it would be easier to pull back. Because the goal isn’t a flawless group dynamic, it’s a lasting one—and that kind of longevity is built through the conversations our egos and anxieties usually like to avoid. Another lesson worth taking from Kyle’s book: she loves a good heart-to-heart in the comfort of LA’s best landmarks like the trails at Griffith Park, lunch at  Il Pastaio and rooftop drinks at The West Hollywood EDITION whatever it takes, in the name of friendship...).
  • Elizabeth James + Meredith Blake (The Parent Trap)
    • What we took from them: This movie gave us two very different versions of feminine confidence. Elizabeth James taught us that elegance can be quiet, composed, and deeply self-assured. And while Meredith Blake is technically not a mom, she absolutely deserves an honorable mention as the almost-step-mom. Rewatching the movie now feels less about an “evil future stepmother” and more like watching a successful 26-year-old publicist get relentlessly terrorized by twins her fiancé conveniently forgot to mention even existed. She knew what she wanted, dressed impeccably, communicated it clearly, and refused to apologize for taking up space while doing it. (“Being young and beautiful is not a crime” remains one of the most important lines ever delivered to us.) Somewhere between Elizabeth’s quiet elegance and Meredith’s unapologetic confidence is the ultimate lesson: present yourself well, know exactly who you are, and don’t shrink to make other people more comfortable.
    • How it translates now: Letting yourself have standards, ambition and boundaries (and resisting the urge to downplay them to seem more easygoing). Elizabeth and Meredith both moved through the world with a level of certainty that felt deeply aspirational: successful careers, strong opinions, impeccable style, and absolutely no desire to make themselves smaller. Let that serve as your proof that women with strong taste and clear preferences often end up building the most beautiful worlds around them. After all, these traits are exactly why they fit so seamlessly into one of the most visually perfect Nancy Meyers worlds ever created. Also, being young and beautiful is still not a crime.

— Your Friend