The Things We Notice About Each Other in LA

Let’s face it, Los Angeles has a reputation for being judgmental. Which is a little unfair...

Not because we aren’t (we totally are). But only because we’re just incredibly opinionated about a very specific set of harmless things.

In our defense, we’ve collectively earned this right.... We gave the world the entertainment industry, avocado toast, In-N-Out, enough wellness trends to keep celery farms employed for decades, the Kardashian-Jenner family, Erewhon (now expanding across the country). Not to mention athleisure as acceptable dinner attire. All born right here in the city of angels.

And besides, most of our judgment isn’t reserved for tourists. They don’t know any better. Our strongest opinions are almost exclusively saved for fellow Angelenos. Once you’ve lived here long enough, you realize LA has its own unspoken social rules.

They’re ridiculous, highly specific and don’t make much sense anywhere else on Earth. Yet somehow, we all understand them. We coexist by the same invisible code in perfect harmony—or at least until someone backs up all of Abbot Kinney struggling to parallel park their Tesla Cybertruck. That’s why we need our breathwork at Satorii and massages at Tomoko.

In no particular order, here are just a few topics we’re strangely passionate (and openly judgemental) about...

Your grocery store: LA didn’t just invent the niche grocery movement—we turned it into a leisure activity. From Erewhon‘s newest rival, Laurel Supply, to holistic havens, beloved neighborhood institutions, specialty Asian grocers, gourmet Italian markets and Hallmark-level farmers markets, grocery shopping is less like an errand and more like a lifestyle sport. And where you do it is just as personal as where you live. Not because anyone actually cares where you buy your avocados, but because it tells us more about you than your astrological sign. Whether it’s Erewhon, Trader Joe’s (TJ’s if you’re truly a regular), Whole Foods, Gelson’s, Bristol Farms, Gjusta Grocer, Cookbook Market, Vintage Grocers, Mother’s, H Mart...there’s a right answer depending on who’s asking. And yes, the same logic applies to your workout studio of choice.

Celebrity run-in etiquette: You either pretend not to notice Halsey sitting next to you at Seco while simultaneously blowing up the group chat (complete with a photo of her you awkwardly snuck while pretending to check your phone), or you genuinely couldn’t care less. Brad and Angelina could get back together and renew their vows right in front of you, and you’d barely look up from your burrata. The only wrong answer is interrupting their dinner, which we would absolutely judge you for.

Your relationship with Erewhon: There are several personalities here, each with their own subgroups. If Erewhon is where you genuinely do your weekly grocery shopping, chances are you haven’t actually stepped foot inside one in years—that’s the nanny’s job (with a quick stop at Bristol Farms afterward for the “more reasonably priced” version of whatever Erewhon doesn’t have). If you’re the one doing the shopping, you’re usually one of two people: the hot bar and smoothie loyalist grabbing a few convenient extras on the way out...or the person every Angeleno quietly judges for being there to see and be seen more than actually shop.

Your parking skills: We don’t mean parallel parking, that doesn’t impress us (only annoys us if you’re not doing it fast enough). Can you back into a suspiciously tight spot on one of Highland Park’s steepest streets while avoiding the red curb, a jasmine bush, a passing delivery robot and someone’s six-figure Bronco? Now we’re talking!

Your earthquake gameplan: You either have to ask, “Did you feel that?”, or you don’t even look up from your laptop until someone else mentions it. If you have a fully stocked earthquake kit and regularly say “at least hurricanes come with a warning,” we’ll assume you’ve either been through the Northridge quake or spend too much time thinking about The Big One. If you’ve lived here for a decade and still don’t even own a flashlight because you don’t think it’s worth stressing about, the emergency-kit crowd has already formed opinions about you. Whichever camp you’re in, just know the other side is convinced they’re the smarter one.

Dietary restrictions: In this town, “Do you have any dietary restrictions?” is an invitation to tell your life’s story. If you order gluten-free, dairy-free and seed-oil-free, the burger-and-fry lovers quietly wonder what happened to you. If you confidently order the burger, fries and a regular Coke, the wellness crowd quietly wonders what happened to you. If you’re vegan, the carnivores take their medium-rare steak with a heaping side of opinions. If you’re a carnivore, vegans have louder opinions. We’re all quietly assessing each other’s life choices over the appetizers. Except, for some reason, if you say “I’m mostly plant-based except when I’m in Italy.” Everyone accepts that as a reasonable answer with zero follow-up questions and it launches a passionate discussion about the lack of preservatives in Europe. And don’t even get us started on the almond vs. oat vs. coconut vs. cashew milk debate.

Your dog’s standard of living: Some people have a nice leash and coordinate playdates with their golden at Palisades Park. Others have a stroller, a seasonal wardrobe, a dedicated Instagram account, lavish birthday parties with neighborhood dogs and “bark-cuterie” boards. Then there are Beverly Hills dogs... The ones who own more Hermès than Kris Jenner, drink out of Baccarat crystal because “it’s easier on their whiskers” (or so we’re told), and have a standing grooming appointment that costs more than any haircut we’ve ever gotten. Lisa Vanderpump’s Giggy truly gave all four-legged pups in the 90210 area something to aspire to. The rest of us quietly judge from afar... while secretly hoping that in our next life, we come back as one of these dogs. If reincarnation is real, we’d like ours to include teeny cashmere sweaters and a front-row seat in a G-Wagon.

Common hiking courtesies: If you’re blasting music out of a Bluetooth speaker that’s louder than the birds, everyone within earshot is judging you. Say hello when you pass people. Step aside if you’re stopping to take in the view. And if your entire hike consists of blocking the trail to shoot content...we’re sweaty, mildly annoyed that we have to go around you and 10000% judging you. And while we’re on the topic, if you think Griffith counts as a real hike, a specific subset of the city is judging you too.

Your relationship to “the industry”: This one separates the tourists from the transplants, and the transplants from the nepo babies. If a Friend says they’re “in glam with a client”, “on a production this month”, or “in post right now,” you either know what they’re talking about because you’re on the inside too, or you just smile and nod while waiting for them to get to the interesting part (just like they do when you talk about your job). But if someone introduces themselves by saying they’re “in the industry,” “working on something huge” or “can’t really talk about it yet,” we do one big collective eye roll (especially on a first date). The people in LA doing the most interesting work don’t really care about making it sound interesting. We’ll never judge you for working in entertainment. We will, however, quietly judge how hard you’re trying to convince us that you do.

Your opinion on the Santa Monica pier: Can we all agree that most locals wouldn’t be caught dead there unless they’ve been kidnapped (with the Hollywood Walk of Fame likely being the next stop against their will)? Of course, exceptions are made any time Paris Hilton rents out the entire pier and transforms it into “Slivingland” for her guests. But on regular days, this is one of the few places where locals and visitors see two completely different things. Visitors see history, nostalgia and one of the most iconic symbols of the California Dreamin era. Locals enjoy the view of the lights from afar, ideally while sipping a cocktail from Casa Del Mar. But if you do love it, we promise not to judge you (if you’re a visitor...).

The airport hierarchy: LAX is the default, but a ride to / from that circus is the modern-day equivalent of asking someone to help you move. Burbank is the elite choice. Long Beach is the hidden gem. John Wayne is for those who’d rather drive an extra 45 minutes to OC than navigate LAX. And if you casually mention flying out of Van Nuys... congratulations on whatever it is you do for a living (IYKYK).

Being unaware of LA’s rich history: Some people walk through LA completely oblivious to the stories surrounding them, while the rest understand that this is the city that built modern entertainment. We look at the Capitol Records Building and think about the voices that have filled it from Elvis to Queen. We drive past the Roxy on Sunset imagining what it must’ve been like to hear Guns N’ Roses play for the first time. We sit inside Chateau Marmont and The Beverly Hills Hotel thinking of Marilyn Monroe, James Dean, Frank Sinatra and generations of Hollywood legends who treated those like a second home. We pass the studio lots and appreciate that this is where silent films evolved into the Golden Age of Hollywood, where I Love Lucy forever changed TV production and where The Wizard of Oz helped define cinematic history. This city gave us more than celebrities, it’s where thousands of artists built an industry that the entire world still needs. That’s why La La Land hits differently for people who live here—it’s the ultimate love letter to Los Angeles and its dreamers. It’s a three-million-acre museum of cultural relevance. We won’t judge you for not knowing every story.

But we will judge anyone who dismisses Los Angeles as shallow. Because if you look beyond the overpriced smoothies, there’s sacrifice and history on every corner. The least we can do is learn their stories.

— Your Friend